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I don’t want to be cynical.” M was beginning to get annoyed, not just at his almost ‘Cheshire’ cat grin, which was in truth also irritating the life out of her ! BUT the fact that he appeared, to be mocking her ?
“You gotta be kidding, re reality? Cos lets face it, these days WHO wants commitment, WHO does anything without a MOTIVE, a PRICE and NO it doesn’t have to mean money... Let’s face it, those dating sites are a perfect example of just how much of a meat market it can be, when it comes to finding someone to share your life with ? “
M glared at him. “Probably WHY you’re still single ! “ He was not it appeared, the least bit put out by her outburst.
Perhaps he wasn’t single at all ! “ I’d rather be single, than wake up next to the female, who is so transparent when it comes to material things, to having a guy she can show off to her friends and if they’re not too convinced, dump him, move onto the next guy .. “
“Jeez you really believe that crap “ There, she had said the word, fed up with it on her lips, the tip of her tongue, mostly iin response to being stuck in this bloody elevator, but still it would suffice for her response to his quite apparent stance on relationships..
“I’m a single mum and yes I am particular who I want to share my time with, mostly because I know future wise it WILL involve my daughter being a part of that relationship, as a FAMILY, but that doesn’t mean I don’t agree with what you’ve said. BUT I also disagree, cos if you want to kick through life, with the notion, that EVERYONE is the same, when it comes to love and relationships ? I wouldn’t bother looking for someone special, cos how can I believe it’s possible and in the same breath, DENY that true love or happiness CAN exist ? “
“So how many DATES have YOU been on ? Come on, it’s the same thing isn’t it .. you’re sat there thinking to yourself OMG what have I let myself in for ? DO I REALLY want to share my space with this person ? it’s not your fault, you get used to being selfish about your own space, the more you meet, the more discriminating you are cos secretly there’s the not so vague realisation, that at some point this is heade to the ‘I will have to share my space.’ scenario.
Truth is when you look closer, you don’t want to share that space at all ! OR if you have to, Lord forbid, it has to be on YOUR terms.. Why you have the dominant female and the shadow of a man or the dominant male and the shadow of a female! Might aswell get used to saying ‘Yes sir, no sir three bags full’ COMPROMISE ? Someone is joking !
Oooh don’t like that tie, think you should wear that, or OMG don’t even think of wearing that ... Let’s face it, the FACT that it’s the PERSON beneath the charade, that counts. But lets be realistic, REALISATION of that seldom happens, blinded by the obsession, that your partner has to be perfect, in everything she does, she wears or he does, he wears ..
Which brings us full circle to the truth. However we perceive relationships, if they’re not on our terms and at least a 75% compromise in our favour, the juries out for good ! Anyone who says otherwise is liking the, what was the word you used?
Yep that’s it CRAP ! “
OK so she had been surprised by his more than apparent outpouring ? She was determined to continue her views on the subject, arguing whatever he said, it didn’t apply to everyone.. He wouldn’t be convinced ! She felt somehow his past had not been his friend, too much clutter, maybe that had obscured his other pleasant, likeable self ? Despite his views on relationships, she was liking him for being so, what was the word, ‘blunt ? ‘
Yet refreshingly HONEST about how he felt ? She could sense he was trying hard, to hide the emotions, the truth of actually admitting, that he yearned to feel, the closeness of that someone special. To have someone he could turn over in bed and cuddle into, or have them cuddle into him ? That warmth you never experience in your life, that ever compares to the sense of feeling loved ? He was, however hard he tried to hide the truth, LONELY.. She felt he did not like being human, had little compassion or empathy for humanity.
Clearly more than aware of all it’s imperfections.. Perhaps let down by his desires his yearning to be loved, without price, no strings attached in all its purity, in all its complicity TRUE LOVE. The stuff of fairytales ? Truth was, fairytales were all well and good but in reaity like some of their writers, grimm.
She sat back, the silence ? She loved him, she hated him.. She hated herself, well not hated, despised the fact that he had echoed her thoughts, her desires, her sadness, her sense of loneliness. Revealed again, that all prevailing shadow she had swept to one side, often by the presence of her daughter ? Yet in her heart ? Damm him ! He had opened up a wound.. they were so close .. so similar, in so many ways ...
it was then the elevator began to move.
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